I have ALWAYS struggled in finding my place in this world, mostly because I always associates who I was with what I was. First it was I am a cheerleader, so I have to act this certain way. Then it was I am a wife, and then a mom, and then an entrepreneur. And while I loved being each of this things, they were and are just a small piece of who I am. I am finding more and more that all of us as women struggle with this to some degree.
With each great transition in life; from child to adult, single to married, and woman to mother, job to job, we have to reexamine ourselves, relearn who we are. Don't let yourself get lost in the mix-up. It is who you are that truly matters not what you are in life:
1. You were a person before you had that title
- You don't have to lose every piece of who that person was. What were you passions, your hobbies, etc. Hold on to those things. Despite losing or gaining another title, we can still hold on to who we are at our core.
Are you nerdy, crafty, silly? Me? I love video games, reading, and crime shows. I love warm baths. I love board games and hiking.
No matter what job or position I am holding, those things will still hold true. If you are struggling with this write down 3 things that bring you joy, aside from any of those titles.
2. Never say Never
- I was listening to a great podcast the other day and they talked about never using the word "never". It is such a final statement. It could be as simple as saying, "I will never move", "I will never leave this job", "I will never have kids". The list goes on and on.
By saying these things it put undue a pressure on you and the situation to be perfect. Allow your options and opportunities to remain open. You never know when or where the next greatest thing is going to come from. Stop placing unnecessary limits on yourself with the "Nevers".
Every time I have put "nevers" into my plans, life always seems to throw them back into my face.
"I will never move away from Riverton". We moved away from Riverton and to Laramie and it was the best move possible. It opened up school and job opportunities I would have never seen otherwise.
"I will never have more kids". I struggled with Hyperemesis Graviderium during my pregnancy with my son. I nearly died, and had to have surgery (a story for another time). The condition has a very high recurrence with additional pregnancies. So my husband and I decided we would "never" have more biological children. And then just as I started my last semester of my bachelors program, we got a positive pregnancy test. We ended up losing the baby before we even got to see them, but it still showed me "never" is not reality.
"I will never leave this job". And yet here I am transitioning to yet another role within my company. One that may be even better than the one that I was in before. One I wouldn't have know was even an option if I hadn't let the possibilities open.
3. You are allowed a “Remodel”
- Just like when you buy a house, we over time need remodels. It often costs time and money and is not always pretty, but in the end it makes the house and us worth more. Although when you are going through it, it may not feel that way.
People don't always like the remodel period. They feel threatened. That through that growth, you will outgrow them. But here's the thing...
We get to grow, and to reinvent ourselves. "Change is inevitable. Change is necessary. Lets Change for the Better".
Remember to take care of yourself. Love the person you are, and detach from the roles you have. Find joy in each journey.