Having the Hard Conversations



Did you know that we have three levels of internal monologue? So no, all those voices you are hearing in your head don't mean you are crazy!


The first and quickest level is that which we have been conditioned to think. This is often influenced heavily by society, the people we were raised by and our religions.


When we feel threatened we often react quickly and impulsively using only the first level of thought. This is our fight or flight response kicking in. For those who have grown up in toxic environments or have dealt with trauma this can manifest as always taking everything personally, putting up walls, or immediately becoming defensive. Which solves no problems, and often makes things worse.


Our second level of thought is our rational mind. This is the part of our mind that has us make pro and cons lists in order to make a rational decision. It is shaped by facts, experiences, and thoughtful consideration.


The third level is our beyond reason voice. What does that mean? Its our intuition, purpose, values or inspiration. It is that little voice that's telling us we are on the right path. That what we are doing aligns with our values and purpose.


"Where the voice of fear worries and the voice of reason analyzes, the voice of intuition resonates." (https://www.huffpost.com/entry/those-inner-voices-no-you_b_7417182)


In order to more confidently approach challenging days and conversations, whether with partners, employers, or kids we need to understand how to utilize that second and third levels of thought.


In order to access this level of thought we need to slow down and clear our minds. We need to allow the inner monologues of our minds to be heard. And slowly work through each piece of our thought. My favorite morning journaling practice I have created is the Intentional Thoughts Mantra.


This Mantra allows me to go into each day with intentionality, and can also be used to help you clear your mind and enter the 2nd and 3rd levels during difficult conversations.


Let me know below if you try this! I would love to hear if it works for you!