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"There's no way I can spend that much on myself or my business!"
"I can't charge that or I will never get customers"
"People will think I am selfish for wanting more".
"I can't have all the things I want because I'll lose the stability and safety of what I have"
Any of these sound familiar?
All too often, we as women struggle with our Money Mindsets. What's a money mindset you ask?
“Your money mindset shapes what you believe you can and cannot do with money, how much money you believe you’re allowed, entitled, and able to earn, how much you can and should spend, the way you utilize debt, how much money you give away, and your ability to invest with confidence and success” (Smart Money Mamas).
So I ask, do you feel rich, secure, and financially set? Or do you worry about having just enough to make ends meet? And I'm not just talking about how much money you make or how you spend it but rather how you FEEL about it.
My name is Kyrie Blaney and I am a mom, wife, Wyoming business owner, and run a financial planning firm.
When I look at working with clients I look less at how much they make or how big their home is, and more at where they want to go, and how willing they are to put the work in to get there. Because you are worthy of everything you want from this life!
Now lets be honest, as women we are fighting against everything we know and have been taught, to turn the scarcity mindsets engrained in us into those of abundance. But below I will take 3 of the biggest mindset hurdles we have to get over and teach you how to change them.
1. It’s not polite to talk about money.
At some point, we all decided that talking about money was taboo. It can feel intrusive and insensitive. But here is the reality; money is neither good nor bad. It is simply necessary to survival. So why not talk about it.
Did you know that, "Couples that argue about finances at least once a week are 30 more likely to get divorced?" (WF Lawyers) Talking about your money with a healthy mindset with a spouse can not just protect your relationship, but actually improve it.
I recommend regular budgetary meetings, weekly or monthly to review your financial goals, bills and incomes, It is also important to discuss what you want to achieve from your money and how you feel most confident in working with money. If you find that this is difficult, you can always bring in a financial advisor to serve as a mediator and help facilitate those conversations.
Talking about money is also one of the best ways to fight against gender and race wage gaps, and gaps in startup funding. By opening the channels of communication with our coworkers and superiors we can identify these gaps, and find ways to decrease them.
This lack of communication among workers also makes it difficult to figure out fair salaries for their industry, which leads to anxiety in salary negotiations and leaves people lowballing themselves. Corporate America loves to intimidate us into not discussing wages to keep their payroll costs down and to keep themselves from looking bad. If we talked more freely with each other about our salaries, we wouldn’t be at such a disadvantage when negotiating our worth.
2. I can’t spend money on myself or my business, or I’m being selfish.
As women we have been trained, by society as a whole to never, ever be selfish. We don't even want to appear selfish, and will do so many things to make sure we come across as generous and nice. Even to our own downfall.
So here I am, giving you permission to be selfish with your money, After all, the money is yours. You earned it, and you should choose how you spend it, regardless of other people's desires and expectations.
Of course there is a big difference between frivolous spending and investing in yourself. When we spend on things that we will see little to no positive return on, it is just spending. If we are putting time, energy and money into something to see larger returns with time, it is investing.
Especially when we are beginning a business, we give much more than we get back. It can take months or years to find momentum and see the returns come but when they do, it is often returned ten fold. We need to see this "selfish spending" instead as an investment into ourselves, because we are worth it.
3. I want to make more money but I can’t charge more for my services.
I can't even tell you how many times I have heard my female entrepreneur clients say this. My take? We only have so many hours in a day and as mothers, wives, business owners, etc. we need to be as efficient in our time as possible. The best way to do this? Charge more for your services.
Now I know what you're thinking... But, I'm not good enough yet, But my market is oversaturated. Excuse, excuse excuse.
Your market is not over saturated.
There is always room for you.
You don’t have to be perfect to charge more.
People buy you.
Value yourself and the right customers will value you too.
This is the single greatest wrecker of great business ideas. Your idea could be the best in the world but if you are not generating adequate revenues or working yourself to death, you are guaranteed to fail.
To work through this we can start by charging 20% more starting today, then take a look at your specific industry and geographical area to adjust from there. If you are worried about keeping current customers, grandfather them in with a date 6 months to a year out when their prices will shift to your new ones.
You also need to develop strong boundaries and learn to say no. Say no to free, or to family and friends discounts. You are bringing value for them and that shouldn't come free. Value your own time and energy.
"In the end, if you’re not charging enough, there’s something holding you back from believing in what you deliver, and asking for what you deserve. Usually, these blocks emerge from messages we learned in our childhoods, about our own self-worth and power, and about money, wealth, prosperity, and the energy of money" (Forbes: Why You're Not Charging Enough For Your Work, And How To Change That)